Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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