...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
420 ftw
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize