apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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