Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
