I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He shit in the fireplace
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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