I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
