We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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