dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
