Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
