Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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