Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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