nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
