I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
