i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
