I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
