Porn is love you can see.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
