I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
