A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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