My hair reeks of homosexuality.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Never joke about your clitoris.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize