You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize