we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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