I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
