You're so nebulous sometimes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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