their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
