You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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