Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
