So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
