You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
