What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
