I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
