i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
