how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
