WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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