i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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