My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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