Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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