I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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