we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He felt like a one man threesome
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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