check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
