HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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