Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
