you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
