im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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