Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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