I think my vagina is haunted
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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