terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
