it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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