I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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