You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
