just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
