I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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