I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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