I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize