just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize