Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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