My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
