Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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