i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
