You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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