why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I believe in your delicious
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
