i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
only if we run a train.
done.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Come back. Shots need mouths.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
