God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
