Please, let me fuck your mom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
