So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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