ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
