I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize