Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Come see our sink grown plant.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
