Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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