So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
